So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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