And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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