fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
