my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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