Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
