Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
