fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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