He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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