Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
