Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
