Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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