How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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