is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
