That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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