my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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