You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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