I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
