dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
