return my video game
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I will be naked everywhere
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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