haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
