I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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