yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
