Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
