I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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