The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
