Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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