I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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