he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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