I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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