i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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