i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
