I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
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Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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