Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
