You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
