break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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