Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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