Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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