You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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