No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
