omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
