Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
