"it" just moved
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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