This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I look better un-naked...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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