She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
