we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
