Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
