Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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