I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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