Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
