Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
