Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
