how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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