well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think I sprained my soul last night
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
