Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
