She said her name was "party"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
