walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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