Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
