Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize