hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
