i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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