i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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