hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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